Today I woke up feeling melancholic. It is a day of farewell to an age. With Natasha’s funeral a couple of hours away, I revisited this blog that I launched with such enthusiasm and optimism last year. I wanted to revisit some of the projects we did as a team. I wanted to remind myself why we do what we do. Despite the failures, despite the pain, I wanted to yet again convince myself that it is all worth it. Changing the life of a single person makes everything else fade to insignificance. But what if the life of the person we were changing died two weeks ago, leaving four children without a mother?

Natasha was part of Heavenly Haven for three years. Her transformation was extraordinary. From a thin stooped woman, with fear in her eyes, she changed to a confident project leader at the haven. It took patience, love, understanding and support. It took convincing her to take out a restraining order against an abusive and alcoholic husband who is now in prison. We saw her eldest, a bright young girl, blossom into a gangly, long-legged teenager. We saw her second child, a boy with Down-syndrome, happily thriving amongst his peers at Carpe Diem in George. We saw her two younger sons change from unresponsive to healthy, active boys. From cowering children, fearful of their own shadows, we saw these kids thrive and become happy, inquisitive youngsters.

See, we work with impoverished families. These people live in desperate conditions. It is hard to describe to someone who has never been cold how much of a difference a single blanket can make. It is hard to describe to someone who has regular meals how a hungry child’s face lights up at the sight of a single dry piece of bread. It is hard to describe to someone who has cupboards full of seasonal clothes what it is like to receive a piece of clothing that is clean and wearable, a pair of shoes that match and fits.

I launched this blog hoping to convey some of the reality of what we encounter every day. Instead it became harder and harder to write as I realised how little difference I was making in creating awareness of our families’ plight. It felt as if I was writing words that disappared into a void, not reaching any hearts and certainly not creating any supporters. I wrote my last blog entry just after our Christmas party in 2010, where we gave out toys and a nourishing meal to over 200 children. It became harder to have something to say, when I didn’t know what to say that would make an impact.

I now realise that I’ve been writing this blog with the wrong expectations. There is no such thing as immediate results. We saw this with our families, with the people who come to the haven. And not every story is a success story. Sometimes people leave the project because change is hard. It is easier to sit back in sack and ashes than to work hard to achieve results. Sometimes people die because of accidents, because of fighting, because of violence. It does not mean the situation is hopeless. There are always the minority in whose lives we create hope.

So now I want to thank everybody who does get involved with what we do. Thank you to every single person who has supported Heavenly Haven over the years. Thank you – because of you we can be the change-agents for our families. We can only create the opportunity. Those who want to, will use it as and when they are ready.