At the age of 40, when most other people start planning their retirement, I became a mom to 10 week old adopted twins.

It has been a rollercoaster ride, from finding out our single expected girl was actually a twin girl plus boy (he was a hidden twin).

Within a week we upgraded our baby room, our home, our cars and our offices (our whole lives) to accommodate baby times two. But no amount of getting ready prepares you for the moment when babies are placed in your arms, and you realise you are now responsible for these tiny, helpless, fragile living beings.

The day I became a mom, my life entered a whole new fase. Suddenly every decision impacted not just me, but also two littlies dependent on me. It’s amazing how quickly one starts adulting. One look at those two screaming little “bundles of joy”, and all my priorities changed instantly.

Nobody tells you that your new perfume will be Eau De Vomit, that high heels and platforms instantly morph into trainers, flats and sandals. Nobody tells you that you’ll be halfway through a meeting with a client before you realise you have some substance that could only have leaked from either end of a baby somewhere on your outfit, or a burp cloth still draped over a shoulder. But… when their little hands reach out for you, their faces wreathed in smiles, when they want only their Mama, and you realise they mean you, then all the agonies are forgotten while you bask in the warm glow of motherhood.

I have been asked to chronicle “life with twins”, but much as I love writing, the last four years have been a blur. Coffee became a lifeline, with sleep (what is that??) measured in short bursts between bathing, feeding and changing times, I am amazed that I can look at my kids, and they are not just alive, but they seem to be thriving.

Even after four years of living the momlife, centered around my children, rocking the momiform of ponytail/braid, comfy pants and flats, it still astounds me how much one can fit into a day if you really have to. During the day I run my own business, dealing with the accumulating ever-present guilt that I should be spending more time with my children. Like many other working moms, I overcompensate with too many toys, activities, elaborate birthday parties and well-planned balanced meals.

Online, I am connected to a lot of parents. Older parents, young parents, single parents, working parents, stay-at-home parents, struggling parents, so many parents. I read about their struggles, their joys, their triumphs and their pride. There is a lot of support, but there is also a lot of really unnecessary judgement, parent-shaming and smug superiority.

It is my hope that there will be time (oh that precious, scarce resource) to add to these Momday Diaries. I hope that more parents will realise, along with me, that we are enough, and just as we are. If I can do this at 44, and with twins, you can also. The important thing to remember is just to love them. Everything else is secondary. Our time with them is fleeting, best is really to just not fret about everything. It will all work out, in the end.

In our house, we take this “raising kids thing” a day at a time. They did not want to have a bath today? Aah well, try again tomorrow. Didn’t fancy dinner? They’ll be hungry enough for breakfast. Went to school with mismatched socks and pj pants? It’s ok, maybe they’re starting a new toddler fashion trend.

Looking at my little busy bodies now, I am so so grateful for them. They are quietly (for once) building a 48-piece floor puzzle. There is a short moment of peace before pandemonium shatters this moment, when they start fighting about who owns what, where the pieces fit and who should pack away. But for now… we have that moment.